So while I was off doing the interview of pointless scammery and stuff, D dropped by HomeTown and came by my house. He sat and talked with StepDad for a while, got caught up with him. It made StepDad's day- he thinks D is awesome and like all that is awesome about the Marine Corps.

Fate, you are so random like this.

D's wife is now working as a stripper and they actually are separated. And he's re-fallen for the girl in HomeTown he had a crush on when he was 10. Serial monogamy, thy name is D.

On the other hand he's doing awesomely at being a Marine. Thinking about not signing back when this round's up because he's got some skills that would be very highly paid were he to do the civilian contractor thing. But that's a long way away...

Anyway. It's so weird that this always happens.

I think I'm past being annoyed with him now. It only took like six months and J being more or less over it too... and yet. I know J actually liked this girl, and even if she didn't like him back it seems like bad juju like this... Idek.

Boys are idiots. That's my only conclusion.

Combining this with non-Trio friendship dramedy and me realizing I'm in danger of actually liking someone... I'm so over life today.

I hate liking someone. I hate that I missed Trio-time. I hate that I broke up with a bff.

Also I hate the ucky weather today.

And winter.

I'm not just done with today, I'm putting a hit out on it.

I didn't make it.
 ... oh well, next time will go better.  I knew there was a big chance since the major majority of applicants don't pass it on the first try.

Now to start getting stuff together for going back to school/moving to KC/whatever else.

At least now I can have some time living in the same city as my best friends, doing the grown up thing...

I think I'll use the next few months for loan applications so I can see about getting a teaching certification or maybe do the translator certificate...

And I'll start studying for the next test date. I should probably take some Poli Sci classes for electives- that would do a lot for my score, I think.

But right now I'm going to go sit very still and take some very deep breaths and hope that this isn't some dream I'll keep chasing and chasing and never make...

Pulled a pan out of the oven today with an oven mitt and everything, but I found the one defective oven mitt and managed to burn the hell out of my my left hand- the fingertips. Am typing .one-handed. well, 7-fingered? ugh.

The bosses are like "omg summer! How is it always you??!"

I do not know. This is just further proof I should not be allowed in a kitchen? 

I'm now v. v. tired. My fingers hurt. A lot. Taking lots of big ibuprofens. Have burncream on fingers.

Probably I'm a big baby but i don't care- this hurts. And it'll be ok for a while and then throoooobbb and I make a face and look like I'm gonna start crying because it was a bad day before this happened and because my hand's actually hurting so bad it's making my stomach hurt. Does that make sense? Oh well.

If you need me, I'll be in my room with a bottle of tylenol and a vat of burn cream and sad sad songs on my cd player. Because my mp3 player died the final death yesterday.

I really just want to curl up and have someone else take care of life.

Omg the end is in sight! I can begin studying Foreign Service exam stuff! I can start my actual application!! *falls down and is happy* 

Meanwhile, I've cleared 4 bags of books out of my room and 5 bags of clothing. I'm finally giving up all the ones I was just keeping around in case I lost the last 5-15 lbs. I have no self control I'm never getting past 128, and I suck. Mah self-loathing, let me show you it? 

I still haven't touched the boxes and boxes of my clothes that are in the basement.

I want to get this all cleaned out and done so that I can reclaim my room. Also so that I can have space to study and work on stuff like a real true grown up.

I need to redevelop some self-control about my shopping habbits though. Like as a matter of space and how I don't have enough to keep on buying clothes cause I like them for five seconds.

Today i've been useless though. This entry is the last moment of uselessness. Totally. I hope. I'm going to go throw more clothing in bags! And shower! And go to work! And then I'm going to order the study guide for the civil service stuff and it will all be ok. I'll get out of here and be a real person and the summer's almost done.

Unless I fail and they won't hire me... and then I'll go to Spain for the program in Madrid for a year and that won't be so bad either. Then I can come back and be actually really good at spoken spanish-Spanish and I'll finally have figured out that lispy thing they do and I can't say that it's a bad plan either.

*Breathes* Ok. And if all that fails and I really can't do it and I am forced to live forever and eternally in HomeTown I will WRITE MY ASS OFF. There will be Mary Sues and vampiyars and commandos and someone will publish something at somepoint. Or I will go and get teaching certification and spend every summer WRITING MY ASS OFF.

So. What I'm trying to remind myself is that it will all be ok. It will work out one way or another and in any of these scenarios is stuff that will make me happy and i won't jump off of bridges without bungee cords.

but first I have to figure out how to clean out the basement.

*falls over* 

50+ hours a week for uhh... 3 weeks? ish? and 2 days off in the last month.
I'm done. I know there are people who can handle this sort of schedule but I need a day off every once in a while or I start getting very cranky. Today was the second day in a row I nearly clawed someone's eyes out at the club. And the only reason I didn't do any clawing today was that the coworker I wanted to maim wasn't there. I'm sorry but I've been  covering her shifts for weeks now, and she bailed out again yesterday because she was just soooo tired.


She's not well enough to work but she can take her kid to a Jonas Brothers concert. Wait. What? I mean seriously, she walked into the club yesterday and started whining IMMEDIATELY about zomg how tirrrreeed she is and how awwwwwwwwwful she feels. Then shows me Jonas Brothers concert pics on her Blackberry, but can I puh-leaaaase work for her tonight because ohh the agony that is life! It is just too much! sob.  So I did. Meaning I pulled a 10-fucking-hour day yet again. Even though I was so tired I couldn't see straight. Actually when she walked in, one of the boys was getting his own drink (I was busy stocking the damn cooler and since he'd behaved I said he could work the soda gun thing, which to a 12-year-old is apparently right up there with handing him a ray gun or something).  The first fucking words out of her mouth were "Does he work here?" 

Now, this is one of the Club Kids. His parents are on the board. The kid spends at least 8+ hours every damn day out here. He's 12. In what universe would he be working here? 
( summer bitches about her coworker on lj. cause she damn well can.  )

It's really quite vexing when you're trying to clean the house but you don't want to walk. Or stand. Or shift your weight.

I stumbled on a stepladder at work and fell... rolled my foot. The one that I injured at Lilies War. Twice. Yeah, that foot. The one I haven't been staying off of because well. waitressing requires walking. I think I just rolled it anyway... I really hope so. I don't want it to be anything not-quickly-healable.

So now I'm limping and it's really hurting. The back of my leg even hurts. I am not a fan of this.

And of course I'm working more hours so more hours are required for said foot to function and there isn't anyone to cover my shifts if I'm not doing them.

See, one of the ladies at the club who should be working is now MIA and meanwhile at the deli (you know I really need to find something to call it because Kitty's right it's not really a deli and it's a lot nicer than a deli and if you walked in you'd look around and realize that in the word 'deli' is no context clue preparing you for a place like this but 'luncheonette' just sounds weird...) one of my bosses is getting ready to start back on chemo... And because we live in this specific time and place, hiring more people's not quite possible and I would like to have more hours now so that later should I be stuck in Washington DC for a couple months of training or testing or gods know what, I won't have to freak the hell out...

Ugh. I'm going to go get an ankle wrap and hope for the best. Maybe the pharmaceutical fairy will drop by with gigantic ibuprofen tablets...

Still do not have swine flu.  Guess this means I'll have to write that paper. Damn.

Btw, is anyone else getting a little creeped out that Obama appointed the Gov of Kansas is now the health person? Uh, ppl, Kansans are scary. They don't believe evolution. Don't they have that museum, with the dinosaurs and humans being all happy together...? At least she's pro-choice, but I wish she had some kind of health type background. Insurance doesn't quite count...

My SCA-persona is going to have to get her own closet soon.  ... I shouldn't be allowed near my credit cards when I'm having a horrid time. But oh well. It will be blue and silver and pretty and custom made. Kitty's gown is by the same lady- her stuff is gorgeous, it's not outrageously expensive and she's nice, works with you, and puts up with ludicrous questions. I've never ordered a custom outfit before, but pandaemonaeum  I was so thinking about all the silliness you must put up with and pictured you rolling your eyes a couple times... But granted it would all probably be so much worse with corsets. At least with the gown I'm getting, there's more room for randomness.

I was trying to be the best customer I could and admit "I haven't a clue about x, y, and z" and then asking about a zillion other bits...  And I found a painting with sleeves which she hadn't done before. So that'll be fun... I think it's a clue that i'm in the right time period cause I was like "Oh, the dress? Blue and uh, it should fit. Embroidery? Sure! Now, the SLEEEEEEVES.... oh, waistline? Waistline where? Where do you like them? I like that. Put it there. But the SLEEEEEEEEEEEEVES...." 

I spent 4 hours flipping through portrait sites for the SLEEEVES. Because, clearly, SLEEEEVES are the most important part. Well that and giant brooches, pearls and shiny bits.

I can't sleep. I keep thinking about how I will never have a job, fall into a black crevasse of nothingness and live at home forever. There's also some hints of marrying some idiot with the intelligence of a drug-addled mongoose and divorcing him and marrying someone worse and having 10,000,000 children and dying a slow agonizing death of boredom (or uh, complications in childbirth on 10,000,001?).

Because I will not fill out my applications right, I just know it and no one will hire me because my resumee won't be as stylishly presented as someone else's and I'll swoon on an interviewer or forget how to speak a single word of Spanish and then discover that my deadliest enemy is the boss's twice-removed-half-step-ex-sister's-cousin's-roommate's-aunt... I don't even know who my deadliest enemy is (probably Stupid Roommate Callisto of 2 years ago...?). But that's what's going to happen. Clearly.

And I can't sleep. Did I mention that?

I fail myself at life.

Finished reading the essay about the Condottiere though and started the next chapter on the Renaissance Cardinal. Got halfway through reflections on the work and times of Jose Zorrilla.

MEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

For his part, the king tried to repair the damages caused by al-Khalisi's detention. Ironically, this contributed to al-Sa'dun's decision to resign as prime minister in 1923, but it was the prelude to the return of many Shi'i 'ulama to Iraq and to an ostentatious state visit by the king to Najaf and Karbala later in the year. The king, although honoring the Shi'i clerical establishment with his visit, was also obliging the distinguished mujtahids who had remained in Iraq to demonstrate their respect for him as head of state. In the meantime, he had appointed his old associate Ja'far al-'Askari as prime minister to ofersee the final stages of the electoral process and to ensure that someone who was unequivocally a 'king's man' was in office when the Constituent Assembly opened.

The Constituent Assembly began its session in March 1924 and immediately criticism of the treaty dominated the proceedings. Fearing its rejection, Sir Henry Dobbs (who had succeeded Sir Percy Cox as high commissioner in 1923) issued an ultimatum stating that, if the treaty were not ratified by 10 June, Great Britain would seek other means of fulfilling its Mandate in Iraq. This threat led to the ratification of the treaty at the last moment and by the narrowest of margins, clearing the way for the passage of the Organic Law (embodying the constitution) and the Electoral Law soon afterwards. The Constituent Assembly was thereupon dissolved and Ja'far al-'Askari handed in his resignation as prime minister.
 (-- A History of Iraq)

Melibea lo rechaza y el, siguiendo los conserjos de su criado Sempronio, le pide a Celestina que intervenga. Celestina es una vieja alcahueta, perita en la medicina y en la brujeria, que les sirve de medianera a los enamorados a cambio de dinero. Haciendose pasar por una vendedora de hilos, telas, perfumes y afeites, Celestina entra en las casas de senores de calidad, donde se acerca a sus hijas. Con Melibea, demuestra sus amplios conocimientos de la psicologia practica; primero despierta la compasion de la joven y luego, su curiosidad, hasta que la hija de Pleberio termina por caer en la trampa. A pesar de su excelente crianza y de su sentido comun, Melibea acaba por suplicarle a Celestina que arregle un encuentro con Calisto. Mientras tanto, Sempronio y Parmeno, el otro sirviente de Calisto, matan a Celestina en una disputa sobre su parte del pago y despues ellos tambien son muertos. Al volver de una cita con Melibea, Calisto da un paso en falso en una escalera y muere despenado. Melibea, desconsolada, se arroja de una torre, dejando a su padre lamentando la crueldad del mundo y del amor.
(--Texto y Vida  - el capitulo sobre La Celestina) 

Well, I got my first speeding ticket. Apparently you can get clocked while passing someone on a two lane road. In other words, while you are on a crappy, twisty notoriously treacherous 2-lane road trying to get around someone who can't decide how fast they want to go, and so you slide into the opposite lane to get the hell around and away from them, if you dare go over the speed limit, you will get a ticket. Because you should take your sweet time about getting around someone who's driving crazy on a treacherous 2-lane road. Nothing says careful driving like lingering in a situation where head-on colisions are increasingly likely by the second, children!  

Thank you, highway patrol. You make me feel so much safer. 

Oh yes, I'll pay the ticket. There have been plenty of times where I was legitimately speeding on that road and deserved a ticket- it's just that no one caught me then. I'm just irked that the time I do get a ticket is because I was passing someone. I'm pretending this guy caught me when I was actually speeding.

I know the officer didn't make the rule, but why the hell would he clock someone while they're trying to get around someone else on a two-lane road??! Oh yeah. Monthly ticket quota. I forgot. 

Also, Mr Patrol officer, you didn't have to be so brusque. But whatever. You got your quota. 


Meanwhile, brittanygracewill be pleased to know that I did not in fact call Delos. He called me after all! Hah! I out-waited him!! I can hereby do my totally idiotic pretending that I was not going to call him at all. Ever. 
... 
Except that I did call him later. Because he was going to call after he got through the one town but then he didn't so I was wondering because he was driving and it was late and I kind of care whether or not he dies horribly in a traffic accident. *grumbles* This sucks. 
Also? He was all aggravated at the traffic and grumbly and... he's kinda hot when he's annoyed. Well, his voice is. ... ACK. 

And I'm going to call him tonight, because he called me last night. Yes. And he's... Bored. Yes.I'm doing him a favor by agreeing to call him tonight, clearly.  And it's Monday night so I don't have anything better to do except watch Heroes. 

Now the real suck bit of this: because i have to pay the ticket and my parents are not overly upset about it but sort of "well let this teach you, young lady, and we're cutting your spending money until we think you're mature enough to handle it again what with the obscene amount you spent in Vegas on top of this all" now I'm going to have to not go to see Delos until ... later. This annoys me. 

I need a job. Damn it. 

Hey, sister_of_night, where is you??!