being amazingly unproductive today, mostly because my lungs are like "Yeah this breathing thing is so last season."

*eye roll*

Putting up my summer wardrobe. :(

I got a new fall/winter coat though! And a new pair of cute gray pants. There was a puffy ski vest I wanted but mom sort of vetoed it... I did snag a new pair of flat boots (these a a little slouchy! And there is fringe!), and... I'm debating picking up a new medieval dress for the garb closet. I can't strictly afford it, but I like it and it's on sale and there is trim involved and it's a pretty green and it's linen... Also, I have no willpower today.

I'm going to have to get rid of another half ton of clothing. Eesh. A bunch of my tanks are now way too big... even the ones I really like. Sniffle.

Oh, and almost all of my jeans are stupidly too big on me now. I have like... 3 pairs that are decently fitting. D: I'm not complaining because yay for inches no longer occupying my hips but... but... I like my jeans!

Plus I want nothing to do with this current tapered-leg craze. EURGH. It looks good on toothpicks people, not on anyone who has anything resembling hips. Not even if you're skinny. When it makes a model look like a hideous triangle, it does not need to touch normal people. So STOP IT.

Note to self: take black ankle boots to repair shop. Those heels are not going to fix themselves.

Arianne Martell and Renly Baratheon both exist inside my head, apparently. LOL although there were several votes for Petyr Baelish, Margaery Tyrell, Genna Lannister and Ygritte.

Click the pics if you want to go be sorted.

I spent today having a migraine and then being a consumer. I helped the economy by buying a bunch of clothes at Maurices and then at Stage (I had coupons and sale slips and stuff though!) ... and I went to Wal-Mart, because Sultana and Kitty both highly recc'ed Garnier Fructis' new Surf Wax stuff, and I was out of tons of beauty products that I did not buy this weekend at Sephora because I would like to someday have money in this century.

I bought Bare Minerals at Sephora this weekend though. I... i didn't mean to. It was just... the sales lady! And then! She just... and it looked... and I wanted it... and... and... *hangs head in shame* 

I'll let you know how the Bare Minerals thing works out.

I got tons of cute new tops though! AND STUFF TO LAYER WITH THEM! So I don't have to bust out the god awful winter clothing yet. I hate winter clothing. I HATE IT. I like big winter jackets but clothes which are actually warm I invariably loathe because they make me look like a mutated potato. I want to be one of those girls who can wear big giant hoodies and droopy sweaters and look good. :( I am not one. I wear miniskirts out of the desire to prove I have actual legs. I'm short, they're easily mistaken as nonexistant. Bleh.

Oh, and I got my new SCA gown too!! It's gold and its Italian-style and it's silk and it fits right (read I can lace it TIGHTLIKEWHOAH. DEAR SWEET SHUGGOTH THE CLEAVAGE) and the sleeves have red embroidery on them. *___*  Now to whine and look pathetic at Kitty until she says I can borrow her crimson silk overdress for it. Heh. I also got some glass pearl beadstuff and I'm thinking I may practice weaving it through my hair. I've got the hang of the hair ribbons now, so pearls shouldn't be too much more difficult...

It's really spoiling me to have clothes custom made.  By clothes, I mean SCA garb, but honestly there's something deadly alluring about having a gorgeous silk gown made and measured and tailored to you. I'm already finding myself thinking of the next dress and what will just /have/ to be done differently and whether it wouldn't look better with this trim or that striping or these sleeves. Help, the persona is taking over my brain! :/  I am NOT wearing giant brocade though. Idgaf what she wants. Or 1000 lbs of velvet. Er, unless it's really really pretty velvet.
Now to find a decent place to get alterations done on the rest of my wardrobe(s). I have so many jeans in desparate need of hemming...

I've got to do something about my addiction to dresses. Casual dresses, party dresses, evening dresses, tea dresses, dinner dresses... vintage dresses. Oh, and white peasant skirts. I have like 6. I think it's time to thin the herd, y/y? 

The skirts are easier. I cannot seem to part with the dresses. I have now stood in front of them all for 45 minutes and whimpered piteously about each one: "But this is PERFECT. It fits!" "You never wear it" "But I could." "Where will you wear it? It's dry-clean only. You can't go near food in it." "On a... date?" "In HomeTown? Are you kidding?" "I won't be here forever." "Yes and then you'll buy something because you'll want something NEW." "This is new. There are tags and everything." "Let. It. Go." "NO."  And then it goes back into my closet. ... Sigh.

I did successfully get rid of 2 dresses!! They were spandexy and I am like 10 lbs away from spandexy being appropriate. :(   Then again, I should keep them and  put them in a purse and every time I think I want to eat anything I should look at them. But no. I have a pair of awesome jeans for that. And loads of bikinis. Bikinis are a bitch like that.

Do you have any dieting tricks that work? Work-out moves that are a charm? 
A zillion jacknifes and some intense dance-type workouts are usually what I can count on for shaving off a few inches, combined with treadmill hamster-time, but I'm actually getting pressed for time with work and everything and my workout-time is cut so if you have any ideas, plz share? 

Omg the end is in sight! I can begin studying Foreign Service exam stuff! I can start my actual application!! *falls down and is happy* 

Meanwhile, I've cleared 4 bags of books out of my room and 5 bags of clothing. I'm finally giving up all the ones I was just keeping around in case I lost the last 5-15 lbs. I have no self control I'm never getting past 128, and I suck. Mah self-loathing, let me show you it? 

I still haven't touched the boxes and boxes of my clothes that are in the basement.

I want to get this all cleaned out and done so that I can reclaim my room. Also so that I can have space to study and work on stuff like a real true grown up.

I need to redevelop some self-control about my shopping habbits though. Like as a matter of space and how I don't have enough to keep on buying clothes cause I like them for five seconds.

Today i've been useless though. This entry is the last moment of uselessness. Totally. I hope. I'm going to go throw more clothing in bags! And shower! And go to work! And then I'm going to order the study guide for the civil service stuff and it will all be ok. I'll get out of here and be a real person and the summer's almost done.

Unless I fail and they won't hire me... and then I'll go to Spain for the program in Madrid for a year and that won't be so bad either. Then I can come back and be actually really good at spoken spanish-Spanish and I'll finally have figured out that lispy thing they do and I can't say that it's a bad plan either.

*Breathes* Ok. And if all that fails and I really can't do it and I am forced to live forever and eternally in HomeTown I will WRITE MY ASS OFF. There will be Mary Sues and vampiyars and commandos and someone will publish something at somepoint. Or I will go and get teaching certification and spend every summer WRITING MY ASS OFF.

So. What I'm trying to remind myself is that it will all be ok. It will work out one way or another and in any of these scenarios is stuff that will make me happy and i won't jump off of bridges without bungee cords.

but first I have to figure out how to clean out the basement.

*falls over* 

As many clothes as I have, you'd think I'd have more tales of wardrobe malfunctions...

Well, ok, there's one... But I was not alone... which I'm not sure is better, honestly...

The whole cheerleading squad was running late and changed in record time to dash out to the field. We were cheering away, happy little cheerleaders in our happy little bouncy world... until the mom of one of the other girls came running up and told Candy to stop doing kicks... she was wearing white undies with a heart print instead of our black spankies.  Lexi was wearing blue. By some luck, I was wearing black briefs, so no one really commented but... yeah.

Another one: 
My mom got me a pair of South Pole jeans that were really cute when I put them on. I was running late so I just left them on and ran to work... about half an hour later, the jeans were now a little loose. Loose turned to baggy. Baggy turned to voluminous... I spent the day at work holding up my pants. Ugh. I promptly went home, tossed the jeans in the rag pile and announced that I will not be wearing that brand again. EVER.

Other than that, it's your average misadventures: bra straps showing, a visible pantyline, spending half a day at a church function with a slip showing in the back, etc.

I really really really need to learn not to get near e-bay when I know I'll possibly be going to SCA stuff in the near future, because it does not end well.

... on the plus side, I now have a velvet cloak, a cute purse....
... and new gauze chemise? 
... and a mantle? 
... and I have a couple gowns to drool at and order myself not to buy in the next couple days.  ... *blinkblink* But... they're so pretty. And not really all that expensive considering what I pay for just normal outfits... omg, zephyrofgod stop me!! 

But seriously! This is amazing. In blue or red or even beige. I will take it.
The colors of this one are not so much for me but I like it anyway.
I want this one so badly. Sure it's Frankish but hey, my next persona is going to be 11th-12th century france anyway, right? 

I want to go shopping, but I can't. It's all sooo far away. And I feel icky. So, lets do some window shopping net-style! 

Gloves?
 Want these - fingerless, above the elbow... omg, sex. or longer, with fingers and sized!! 
Rules of glove ettiquette 
I don't know who can pull these off, or what they say, but whatever they say, I'm sure it's in all caps and swirly. 

Jewelry? 
black bead choker that looks like a far-less-kick-ass one I have in my vanity. Alas, mine has lost a dangly bit. Dammit. 

cool nuveau choker-- I'm not sure if I want it because it's awesome or becaause it's different... 

I don't like pearls, but I'd take this. 

Bring on teh shiny.

Blinded by teh shiny!! 


Handbags
 in which there is actually a category called fashion victim! 

Tops
 Want it. 

Dresses
 I own this. How awesome is that? heh. Oddly it looks nothing like that on me. But it's all kinds of awesome.

I wouldn't mind owning this... if I dropped some weight suddenly. 

I think I like this? But lose the cardigan. 

Definitely want this. 

For those days when you just want to be a porn star. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you put that dress on, you are contractually obligated to film a porno or star in a comic book. 

Random 
 Shawl-thing. Want muchly. Just so I can drift around and look all drifty and stuff.

Things I learned in Spanish
 - Barcelona is filled with transvestites. 
 - Sweet Barcelonan Transvestites get laid a lot. By nuns.
 - Everyone in Spain has a heroin problem.
= Spain is its own Maury Povich episode. 

We decided all this when our professor explained that Latin films try for more realism than Hollywood. 

Still have to start the Final Project of d0om. ... Dammit. 

Started reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I am intrigued with it so far. However, it would be vastly improved with the addition of pirates. Or ninjas.  Twilight was only acquired when a thorough check of the romance section yeilded no promising pirate porn. 

You would think with Potc being so massively huge that someone in the romance industry would be tapping that lust like whoah. Dammit people, gimme pirate p0rnzbooks. Flippin' hell, it can't be that hard. If y'all can print that Sherrilyn Kenyon Neandervamp yawnness, you can give. me. pirate porn. But not neandervamp-pirate porn, please. I am so sick of Neandervamps and their darkitty darkness with colorriffic soulmate sparkles. How was that ever a good idea? She's his soulmate, not Rainbow Brite. 

I suppose the pirate's darling true love will have to live in a magical land with her fluffy companions, combing her forever-long locks which have been touched by the colors of dawn and twilight, and she will free him from his curse to be a were-poodle with her light and love, and he will be blessed at last with the understanding of eyeliner and shiny Pantene hair?

Also? I want this, this and this Because I just don't yet have enough party dresses I'll never wear. And a goddess dress.

Dear Mischa Barton, 
 Your stylist hates you with the passion of a thousand unfashionable suns. 
 You too, Fergie. And you're still not fergilicious.

... I think I know these guys.  Oy, Darwin Awards, I sense you will soon have new winners... 

And here is your prom date. Approach with caution. 

What really goes on inside a vending machine. 

Pulp Muppets! - Muppets Tarantino Style, b*tch. 

Tori Amos Interview about American Dolls. God, I love her.

Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe making a new Robin Hood!! --Russell as Nottingham and and and... can they get Orlando Bloom? Oh, god, please tell me that they will... 
"Crowe stars as the Sherriff of Nottingham in a revisionist take on the Robin Hood tale, with Nottingham as a noble and brave lawman who labors for a corrupt king and engages in a love triangle with Maid Marian and Robin Hood. "
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* 

The Other Boleyn Girl - starring Natalie Portman, Eric Bana, and Scarlett Johanson? How did I not hear about this?? It's due in the fall. Where is the marketing, people! I only just saw a still in Entertainment Weekly, in a spotlight on The Tudors, and all the upcoming Tudor-riffic movies and such. We're to get the next Elizabeth movie, The Other Boleyn Girl, a Mary Queen of Scots biopic, and of course, The Tudors. I think my costumep0rn requirements will be met for a while! YES. 

 Although I really don't see how Natalie Portman's Anne will hold a candle to Natalie Dormer's in The Tudors. I like Natalie and all, but she can't do vixen. And for the love of kittens if they turn Anne Boleyn into a sweet Amidala-type who's going to look all innocent and wounded and sob for her broken heart and does not fight with Henry, I will MAIM something. Namely the scriptwriter.

Drunken Pirates Cannot Be Teachers. 

Drunken Grooms Are Easily Replaced 

A Handy Map of the Internets! - So when you get lost in Straits of Web 2.0 you can find your way back.

I am very sunburned. And I love it. Because omg, there was SUN. Now, excuse me I have to go be useless while I can, because as of Friday I will go effing insane.

I spent 4 hours of today trying on clothes I already own. Why? Because there is now so much clothing in my room that it has eaten the furniture. I hadn't seen my futon in months. The scary part? I still have the entirety of my closet and dresser, 3 trunks, 2 boxes of jeans, and a few pieces still occupying my futon that I didn't get to today. 

Then I will have officially culled my summer wardrobe.  

... 

This is ridiculous. On the bright side, mom has a freaking ton of stuff for the yard sale/charity thingy now. 

The truly ridiculous part is that I did this exact same thing last year. Seriously, the pile of clothing last year was horrendous. I could have started a department store of Failed Trends and Harrowing Fashion Faux Pas (some of it had evaded my yearly efforts since middle school, hence the utter horror).  And can I just say that I have no idea what kind of aesthetic I had during middle school, but clearly I was derranged??! I was being dressed by a blind monkey for 3 years. There is no other explanation. Blue plastic faux-denim-printed platforms with zippers? Clearly this was designed by a blind monkey and then placed on my foot by the same blind monkey. No human could have created these horrors. Not even a Rabid Bows of DOOM maker.

This year the going is a bit easier, but it's tricky. As always I have to take into account the fact that my weight fluctuates terribly + or - 10 lbs, and I'm currently +10. Then I have to remember which bits will be acceptable for work even though I loathe them, which ones are acceptable for dad's, and which ones I can safely get rid of. I always have to keep a few things I hate/don't mind the destruction of because wearing them at Dad's is a surefire way to ruin them. 

Oh, and I have clothes I keep permanently at Dad's too. Yeah. But I don't go through them. They're there to be destroyed. 

Okay. Sorry. I don't know why I'm rambling about this except that right now, the amount of clothing I own is freaking even me out. I won't talk about shoes. Or the winter wardrobe. 

I did, however find my cheerleading uniform. Hee.

Dear Sweet Gods, WHY??! 

In other news, the fashion gods have clearly taken the bad crack. 


If you or anyone you know owns this sweater, you have the right to sue someone for fraud. Also, if you paid full price... I have the most amazing bejeweled distressed black miniskirt that I'll give to you for $900... It would look faaaabulous with that sweater.


I want this. It would look like hell on me, and I don't know exactly why I want it, yet the wanting remains. Maybe I've taken some of the bad crack too. Sigh.

And this was your Utterly Random Clothes Ramble for the day. Yay.