So, Trouble's party started off far earlier than we planned because PartyBoy and Strider decided that by 11 we really meant 9. But hey, all's fair, right? 

Trouble and I went through a pint and a fifth of Captain, and then some Hpnotic in the course of the evening; we were happy and flying right along with our pals. We even got the boys to run and grab some foodage- they came back with a freaking TON of nacho cheese in two huge paper trays and then two bags of chips. The feeding frenzy continued around the ongoing game of Circle of Death, the rules of which we had completely made up by that point in time. We also had some very inventive versions of PandA that make no sense by the light of day, but I swear we had logic to them last night...

Unfortunately, PartyBoy had to work and took off early, then Strider had to go too, and suddenly we were left with One Guy, who Trouble once dated alllll the way back in high school, a couple of the other guys, and One Guy's Friend. 

One Guy's Friend was where things went badwrong. 

Somehow, this guy thought he had a chance with me. Le what? I flirted with one guy through the entire party... okay, and PartyBoy, but hey, he's there to flirt and that's just what he does so there you are. The guy I was flirting with, I shall call Vegas since that's where he lives (heh, small world isn't it?). 

Vegas is in the Air Force, and I was having great fun teasing him about that fact. He took it very well and he made for a fun conversation partner. Plus, he's really cute. Sadly Trouble already warned me that sex with him, unless he's somehow gotten in on that theoretical secret Marine Training, is not worth the bother. Meh. I wasn't feeling much for sexing anyway, what with being so god-damned much in like with Delos. WHICH STILL SUCKS, thnx. 

Anyway, One Guy's Friend is like one of those guys who thinks he's all the bigbad. He wanted to do all the poseing and posturing and try to wow me on where he's been and omg, he's seen all this stuff, and isn't the Small Town Girl just so impressed with his total awesomeness? Cause, omg he's from the Real ATL.... 

Yeah. I was impressed. with his total asshattery. 

I believe my response to all this, once my good manners had worn out was something akin to "begone, mortal, for you annoy me." He kept pushing subjects like ATL and where this was at adn that was at and I was like "yeah, sure. Um, dude, I've been there. It was boring. No, really, I don't care. Oh my god, no, really, I DON'T CARE SHUT UP." 

At some point, OGF passed out on Trouble's couch. Which is right by the dining room. Which was where our card games were still going on. 

At some further point, OGF gets up and sulks back into the room. Starts bitching about how we're making too much noise. Trouble's like: "Dude, my house, my time table, my card game. Deal." 

OGF sulks back off somewhere. 

Party winds down. OGF is on the couch. Now, Rule 4 of Trouble's Casa is that the couch belongeth to her friends, most especially me. 

Me: "Hey, dude. Off the couch. Sorry, but them's the rules. You get the chairs or the floor. Girls get the couch." 

OGF: "I don't think so." 

Me: "This? Is not your place to say." 

OGF: "I'll share." 

Me: "I am sorry, but I am not comfortable with that arrangement. I don't know you." 

OGF: "I don't bite." 

Me: "Perhaps I misspoke. By 'I don't know you' I mean 'I do not trust or like you and you creep me out to astonishing degrees'." 

Trouble: "Hey, she doesn't share and she doesn't have to. I'll get you a ride home or whatever, but this is not acceptable." 

And that is when OGF realized that his friend, One Guy, wanted to stay with Trouble, and that his welcome was officially worn out. So he proceeded to get nasty, threaten Trouble, then me, with his friend getting in the middle and Kel getting in the middle as well because he was wasted but this was not cool. 

Which was how while OG and OGF had a huge high-tension show-down in the dining room, Trouble and I wound up sitting on the couch, holding one another's hands and both our phones poised to dial the cops. Neither one of us likes getting pushed around and Trouble was having trouble not getting up and mouthing off, but honestly? This guy? Way too creepy for words. So we waited and I held the cops number and Trouble tried dialing every single guy in her phone book. ... well, most of them. 

Eventually One Guy left and took his friend with him. By then Trouble was too relieved to be upset, and she and I went to her room while Kel took the much-contested couch. We locked every door and made sure they were secure before we tried to go to sleep,but sleep was no use. 


Sadly, that wasn't the only drama of the evening. 

Toward the beginning of the night, I got a call from D. I... did the bad thing. I told him that if what he's up to is making him happy then go ahead and marry Roxxi. If he's happy, then that's all that matters. I said it and smiled and laughed into the phone and started a mental countdown of how long that's all goign to take to explode fantastically. And then I promised myself I would call J the next day and inform him of everything. J's the last hope, honestly. If J can't talk sense into him, then that's the last straw and D's course is set. 

Anyway, after I sort of played make-up-and-be-nice with D, going so far as to admit that hey, yes, Roxxi is nice enough and cool and all, and I do like her (privately, I still think she's going to go on the list of D's Biggest Mistakes eventually, but oh well), D decided I guess to be a brat. 

He was like "So... you and Delos?" 

I laughed. "We'll see. He's a nice guy." 

"Summer, you need to take some time. Get to know him. ... Do you know he's engaged? And about to be a father?" 

"WHAT? No. Shouldn't you have, oh, I don't know... mentioned this at some point earlier?!" 

"I'm just saying, you need to... take it slow." 

I decided that my original idea back in Vegas, about tying him up and leaving him in the desert was a better idea than I'd thought. Good grief. Kettle, meet pot. "D, you know me. It's all fun." 

"Yeah, I know. But he's had some bad luck with girls... Just... be careful about this, Summer." 

"And also he's engaged, right?" 

"Right." 

I made myself laugh and make some more jokes, then I hung up the phone, dialed Delos' number, and left a voicemail asking that he please call me back. Was I totally wrong about Delos? Had my usually good people instincts let me down? How could a guy be lying about something that big and me not notice? I'd been distracted... yeah. But... Oh my god. 

I stumbled into the kitchen and called for Trouble. She dropped her card game and came out, took one look at my rapidly crumpling face and dragged me into the bathroom. 

"H-he's... engaged!" I hicupped into a kleenex. 

"He's what?" 

"Engaged. And... there's...a... kid?" I sniffled. "I don't know. Something's not right. I didn't think- - he... it doesn't make sense." 

Trouble sighed and gave me a hug. "Well that's sucky. At least you found out quickly, right?" 

"I think I caught your curse! I'm only going to like engaged guys and you only like married guys and this... is... ugh. I hate this. How do girls DO THIS? I hate liking people!" More sniffles ensued. 

Once I had managed to stop sniffling, and my tears were suitably dried, make-up touched up, Trouble drug me back to the card game we had abandoned. 

"New round, everyone!" she announced. "P&A. PartyBoy, deals!" She handed me a drink. 

When in doubt, dive headfirst into Captain Morgan.  ... and also, there was Vegas, the aforementioned Air Force guy. Not only was he cute, flirty, and there, but hey- Vegas. 

Delos may never know just how fortunate his timing was when he called me back. I'd almost decided that Vegas was the best antidote for the night. But I would give Delos a chance to explain, because something was feeling hinky enough that I wasn't ready quite for jumping into a make-out session with the Next Fun Time. 

"Hey, what's up?" Delos asked. I could hear he was standing probably in a parking lot somewhere. 

"Are you engaged?" Best to get this over with fast. 

Delos was silent for a second. "Am I... what?" 

"Engaged." 

"Not that I know of. What the-- where did you... Huh?" 

"Someone said that you were. And you are also going to be a dad in like two months." 

There was a very heavy sigh. "No, I'm not. There was a girl- my ex, remember I mentioned her? She said she was pregnant, but she lost the baby. It was all a little too convenient. But it was a while ago.  Did D tell you this? I need to keep him more up to date I guess..." 

This background story jingled into place with other stuff he'd told me and fit far better. In fact, I was sort of thinking he had mentioned this somehow. "Okay. Yeah he.. he said that you were still engaged and all. But... you're not?" 

"No." Delos sounded more relaxed now. "He's just trying to protect you, I guess... You're okay?" 

I took a deep breath while the world fell back into order. "I'm much better now. Thank you for calling me back so quickly." 

"It's no problem..." he paused and then I heard that note of male ego creep into his voice with: "You were worried about that?" 

I sniffed. "I was kind of hurt, honestly. It would suck if you had flat-out lied about something that big..." and then, lest he get too smug, "Although it was going to give me a really good reason to go make out with this hot Air Force guy." 

That got a laugh, "Oh I see. Switching services. You're all about the uniform, really, aren't you?" 

"Well, he's not in his right now... but I suppose if I asked nicely that could be arranged." 

"You're horrible," he chuckled. 

I told him he should probably behave and not abduct his brothers to Singapore for midget strippers and fried beetles. He insisted that would ruin his plans, but condeeded that it would be hard to get back to base by Monday. And so we said our goodbyes and I felt immensely better. 

It didn't occur to me until I hung up that I could have logicked my wayout of the problem without calling him, what with the details about our lives and holiday plans we'd exchanged. 

This still smacks of either D getting strategically confused or... something. 

Anyway, I'm officially chalking up last night as the Night Of BoyPMS. 

And now, PartyBoy and Kel and co are on the freaking warpath to avenge Trouble and I's... honor? Or at least our lost fun. PartyBoy is Not Happy about what happened, which was relayed by Kel once he had sobered up and it looks like the guys are placing some new rules about parties at Trouble's, meaning one of the main group should be there until everyone leaves and if they all leave then the Party is Over. 

I've never been more thankful for my guy friends. Ever. One night of seeing what it might be like without them, and a view of what lesser guys are like, and honestly? I could kiss them all. To all my guy friends: I heart you so very, very much.