Who knew this town was all for rocking the Mexican holidays? 

I worked later than usual, and went to dinner with my bosses. Freebie food yay! Honestly, this job is the one to get if you're ever afraid of going hungry. Pay is kind of crap but omg there's fooooood.

I still think it's a bad sign when the waiters recognize me and can guess the orders... But ah well. Hanging out with the bosses was actually kind of awesome. There's a huge generation gap I got to say- they both kept asking me if I was going out and what we'd do. Neither one of them ever got to just go out with friends and hang out with a drink and gossip at the bar or a restaurant... when they were my age they were already married and maybe had kids.... strange to think about that.

Anyway, I met up with Trouble and Juliet at the Restaurant Bar, where it was two-for-one night. Oh yeah... and the bartender knows me there too. Eesh. then again, she bartended at my 21st and presided over J's 21st too... possibly that's enough to make me memorable.

Went to The Only Real Bar In Town after that and I found myself taking a terrifying shot of god knows what with Juliet... and the bartender was not well-trained but eh, it was a tuesday night...  And then I was somehow playing pool with a group of guys who were much older (like, old enough to be Summer's dad and grandfather), and the dad-aged-one's son? We didn't buy that entirely. The dad-age one had on Abercrombie. And an earring. And didn't look entirely stupid. .... Possibly I was more drunk than I thought. Or he was not as old as he claimed. Something.

I totally sucked at pool. It's been like 2 years tho... or... omg, longer than that. Not since I broke up with Galen! O.o  Wow. All I could think of during the game was how Galen's bro-in-law taught me and the fact I was decentish and he'd so be disappointed with my performance.

Btw, telling people in HomeTown that one is a Spanish major gets lots of funny looks. "So you'll like, work in a factory as a translator or something?"  Not even teaching comes up in their brains first. lol

Anyway it was fun. And then Drunken Dramedies erupted in the other half of the bar, and it was closing time, and Trouble and I walked to her house and I called mom to come get me. Driving was not an option and Trouble had to somehow drag herself to school today and teach. Poor girl...

Trouble's doing... ok, I think. I hate that I couldn't get out of finals but she had Juliet with her down at the Lake last week, so she wasn't locked in a hotel.

I talked to Kitty too, after I got home. Looks like life might actually get a little less psycho for her, which is a relief.

This morning, my stepdad was unamused with my calling the house at midnight but he apologized since as a former cop he's seen the accidents tha happen when you don't call for a ride. I was really worried for Juliet actually because she insisted on driving...

I'm sorry this entry isn't entirely coherent. I have had two nebulizer treatments today. O_o  What the hell, lungs? What. The. Hell? 

... I think I might have a date with Stripes? ....  So, there's that too.

Or pheremones. Maybe it's pheremones, as brittanygrace suggested. 

I'll try to start where I left off. I posted (very, very) drunkenly about Halloween. Let's clarify what I was rambling about: I went out with Jez, Joker and Nas. 

A few weeks ago, Nas had hit the point of bashing me over the head with clues and finally coming right out and asking about the possibility of us dating. I took evasive action because while I adore Nas, let's face it, I SUCK at the dating thing. I'm horrible and he deserves better. 

Last semester, Joker and I had a... thing. A couple times. It was nice, but Joker is a laid-back, not-my-type guy, and so it sort of faded into nothing, where I was okay with it being. I adore Joker too, as a friend. I thought Joker felt this way, and everything with last semester was gone. 

... I'm clueless sometimes. I really, really am. But maybe it was all the fault of my vampire outfit. 

We started out in Bar A. Bar A is 21 and over, so Joker's GF wasn't eligible. She was at Bar B with some friends. Joker did not want to go to Bar B. His vote was against Bar B all night. Meanwhile, at Bar A, I wound up wearing his hat, having his hand on my arm, talking to him, and swaying to bad music. There was even dancing. 

Italian Guy and Mr St Louis both texted/called while we were there. I texted Italian Guy back, and Joker took up the cause to tease me about it mercilessly. And wouldn't let it drop. He kept being like "so, you're going on a daaa-aate" and random other stuff.

It was sweet, in a way. Except for the he-has-a-GF part. Which I kept reminding him of. I don't think guys with girlfriends are supposed to have their arms around girls who are not the girlfriend in question, right? We were downstairs at Bar A, listening to the band when Nas and Jez decided we should really try Bar B. They motioned and went up, I tried to tug Joker along but got held back. We were dancing for what seemed like a really long time, before I finally realized what was going on (look, I had had two cosmos and a rum&coke, and I hadn't had dinner or lunch, or breakfast, so I was running a little slow). In the end Nas came back down and was like "What the hell happened to you two? We're leaving now, remember? Yes?" 

I still had to kind of drag Joker up and out of Bar A. 

We traipsed our freezing butts across the way to Bar B. Joker had my arm most of the way because I was drunk, in heels, and freezing. Again, he's sweet. 

His GF was right inside Bar B, but he hung back with me while I relocated my ID (I have been getting ID'ed constantly the last month or so, and I had not been ID'ed ALL SUMMER. And all last year.). We met up with his GF and he did the dutiful thing of kind of hanging there by her, sort of arm-around-the-shoulders. For all of thirty five seconds. I went to the bar with Nas, we got separated. I turned around a little lost, to find Joker wading through the crowd toward me. Some friends of his popped up and they talked for a while. The friends moved on to go get drinks, but Joker stayed put, talking to me then. 

Now, darlings, I was awfully hazy in my thinking processes right then, but I was like "Umm. we should find your girlfriend." He was like, "what? yeah, she's somewhere." 

So I start off to find the girlfriend, and he follows. We don' t find her, but we do find Nas. Then I stumble into the gf, who btw is a really nice girl and I like her. I don't know what the hell Joker's problem is except that she's younger and has some habits that annoy the hell out of him, like calling him 'baby.' Constantly. 

The costume contest happpened about then, with Nas and Joker participating. I dont' remember much in there, as Joker handed me a Caribou Lou just before so... hell. They could have been dancing like sweet Transvestites from Transylvania. I do know there were four girls dressed up like kinda sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles who vogued for the crowd. That was awesome. 

Then came dancing. Which was slightly painful because I was in Heels, and the dancing was taking place out on a deck, so my heels kept slipping into the cracks. That came in as a handy getaway though, because we started out with me dancing with Nas, Joker with his GF, and her friend dancing around through us. I don't know, you know how that drunk dancing group mechanic goes. Except that suddenly Joker grabbed me, sort of tossed Nas toward his GF and then I was thinking 'oh noes' because last time Joker danced with me, he got all weird and handsy and grabby. Which is not like Joker at all, but he was quite hammered and I was quite with the falling and I knew this would so end badly. 

Luck was on my side! Nas shanghaied Joker off for drinks or shots or something, and three very hot (well, it was dark, I was drunk and they were welcome distractions anyway) guys who were dressed as 70s disco dudes were suddenly there. 

And the one who ended up with me could DANCE. And kiss, incidentally. I was totally getting made out with, and not minding in the least. But I did kind of limit the amount of making out, because I do have some self control. And I like dancing better. 

Everytime I turned around though, Joker was staring. Eye contact was made a couple times, and he did this thing where he chuckles and laughs and does the 'oh yeah, good times' routine that means he really wants to say something but can't or won't. I'm guessing this had to do with his being unable to unentangle his girlfriend long enough for him to get onto the dancefloor. 

I was okay with this arrangement. In fact, I was so okay with it, I was giving serious thought to ditching Nas and Joker and heading home with Scruffy 70s Boy. 

But, what with everything going on with Joker, I'm not wrong in thinking this behavior is not normal 'taken guy' behavior am I? 


Nas pulled me away from Scruffy 70s Boy. He insisted I was better than that and I didn't really want to go home with that guy. I think I told Nas he should go kiss Scruffy 70s boy and then convince me that that kiss was not worth a little moral ambiguity. 

Nas informed me I was drunk .

I informed Nas that there is truth in alcohol, and while I was searching for the truth, I was pretty sure I was going to find the truth of Scruffy 70s Boy's abilities. Because if you can dance like that, surely you can do other things... 

Nas was like "No. You're going home with us and you're going to behave. Seriously." 

"But I want him." 

"You are such a five year old when you're drunk." 

"... Point?" 

"I'll let you play with Jez's lightsaber." 

This was sneaky, because Jez had gone as a Jedi Knight and she had a really pretty lightsaber. And the lightsaber was in the car. 

So Nas coerced me into the car for a lightsaber. 

Then he and Joker promptly left me in the car. In a parking lot. On a cold, dark night. They said for five minutes. FIVE MINUTES my foot. So like, 20 minutes later I was ready to flip the hell out, freaked out, called zephyr_of_god and was like "omgit'saparkinglotandtherearehorrormoviesthatstartoutlikethisHELP. And do you think I should sleep with the hawt boy in the embroidered 70s shirt?" 

Mind you, this is random and 1:30 in the morning. She was like "Wtf? Did you take the red pill or something?" Then even through her annoyance and sleepyness she managed to awesomely talk me out of my panic, and also out of my decision to crawl into bed with Scruffy 70s boy, once she figured out what I was talking about. 

Nas finally effing reappeared and apologized a lot. I still don't know if they were kidnapped by aliens or somehting, but whatever. He drove me home and somehow I decided that a stop sign was a good place to grab him and kiss him like whoah. 

Nas commented that I am the most confusing girl EVER and too damn random for sanity. He's not wrong. So I kissed him again in the parking lot before I got out of the car. 

Note to self: Nas rocks at kissing. The boy's got game. Why the hell didn't I try that sooner? 

So that took care of Halloween. 

Then came last night. My date with Italian Guy. Actually, the whole date went awesomely. Saw the movie Saw IV (way more gross than it is scary), went out to the haunted graveyard as a big group (Italian Guy is scared of that stuff while I'm fascinated so that was interesting). We ended up at The Bar, hanging out with some friends and kicking back. ... and someone started getting shots. There were tequila shots. And 2-3 vodka+redbulls. Random other junk. Liquid cocaine. 

That and the rum I was drinking sent me all on a sugar rush. I started getting queasy but didn't get sick, so Italian Guy and I decided we'd call it a night. ... It would all have turned out fine if we could have gotten ahold of Safe Ride, but we couldn't get through, so we walked back to campus. After... goddess help me... we made out in his car. And then we wound up at his room, making out more. 

The only thing that saved me from total disaster was that- get this one - he's a virgin. What. The. Hell? 

Then came this morning's talk of "Omg, what exactly went on last night?" 

I don't think he expected that, but honestly, there are serious holes in my memory. It's all pretty damned blurry. I know fun was had by all, but... yeah. 

Then he was like "Uh, we moved a little fast there." 

"No. Really? I thought we were going pretty slow." /sarcasm. 

So he proceeded to go into this whole weird effing thing about did I mess around with him because there was alcohol or because I liked him and I was thinking "dude, the virginity is showing...seriously." but I was nice and just said "I like you, and yeah there was alcohol." Ambiguity is good sometimes, right? 

I do really like Italian Guy, but I dont' think I can handle the insecurity that is obviously going to come up with him. I have no time for sweet talking insecure boys. Especially because he was damn good at all that he did, and he figured out what buttons to push on me like half a second into everything, so the insecurity is stupid. REALLY stupid. 

And then he was asking something about going further and I was like "whatever you want. I like the whole no pressure on going further thing, but whatever. You need to work that out. And I am not giong to think about it until a few dates down the road, sorry." 

Somehow this upset him, like because I was not necessarily gung ho on having sex? Or because I was okay with just messing around? I got the impression he was not used to getting that response, and because he totally got the vibe (correctly) last night that I like sex, so he thought I was hoping for more (wrongly). That and he seems to have Girl Issues. Like, he's been turned down once too many times or something. Um, seriously guys? Confidence is hotter.

Or maybe he was asking about a relationship on some sideways way, adn I didn't catch it. I have no idea. Why was he talkign to me about this crap in the am?! I am still half-not-sober, and I am not a morning person anyway. Besides, I don't think he does well with confusion, which is my specialty. I think he's goign to be more friend material. I mean, he's sweet but he clearly can't handle a confusing, twisty, Gemini. 

I'll probably drop him a note later, sort of apologize for being on a different conversational page than he was this morning. 

I think I'll be going out with Mr St Louis tonight.

Last Saturday I went to a party with Trouble (she of the newly-minted Jolly Rogers groupy syndrome). Some friends of hers have a house in one of the tiny little towns out in the middle of nowhere. They don't live in it, they just turn it into a haunted house every Halloween. Yes, they keep a house just so they can make use it once a year as a Halloween Party Venue. It really does deserve the capitalization. 

Needless to say, they go all out. The entire downstairs as well as the yard, becomes a massive maze filled with dismembered body parts, moving statues, strobe lights, blood splatters, glow-in-the-dark randomness, eerie dummies, and scenes of horror, laid over with a pulsing soundtrack of screams, howls, and (when the dj gets drunk) the electric slide. 

The family who throws the party are damned good at what they do. During summer they throw huge camp-out parties in the local state parks that turn into weekend long bachanals- I went to one of them this summer actually, and I believe it was the one where at 4 am, Trouble and I decided to text every guy in our phones the message "wanna have sex?" just to see what would happen. You'd be amazed at the responses. 

Anyway, now you know the sort of party this is. Add in that it's a costume party, and the booze was free. The summertime versions are byob, but for the "family-only" haunted house weekend (it's open to the public the next few weekends, though there's less partying to it) the booze is provided. Lots and lots of booze. Captain Morgan, coconut rum, vodka, tequila, schnaps, jell-o shots, rum, rum, rum, vodka, more vodka, whiskey, gin, scotch. You name it, it was there. Then there was beer, too, of course. Imagine a six-foot shelf filled with alcohol, and more alcohol underneath it awaiting the time when there's enough empty space to bring it out of storage. To the right you see what looks like a small dumpster brimming with ice and beer cans, with a sparse sprinkling of sodas, and a massive tub of jell-shots. And as long as you can stand up and/or swallow liquids, you're good to go. 

Trouble and I walked in, two of too-few single girls in attendance. She was curvy and busty in a black 'gothic vampire slayer' robe, a hood half-obscuring her deceptively innocent grin, sexy-as-hell black boots on her feet. I was in black, my eyes smoked out in pitch black liner, lips stained red, fangs visible when I smiled, in fitted black pants, a strapless black satin bustier top with an attatched collar. We made an impression. And we didn't even show any cleavage. 

We were greeted with hugs from Captain Hook and his pirate wench, made our way to the bar and started the night off with a proper salute to Captain Morgan. It wasn't long before we found ourselves seeking a cooler room (Sat night was like 70 and there were a ton of people crowded into the two main rooms), which we found in the entry room. Surrounded by branches and twigs, watched the a cauldron-stirring statue of a displeased witch. Then came the duo I'll refer to as Skinny Emo Cowboy and Frighteningly Normal Guy. They decided we needed to be chatted up. 

Now, this is a small area. Skinny Emo Cowboy has a history with our friend Serena (aka S sometimes), and two years ago at the same Halloween party he spent the night romancing a very drunken Trouble, although her friend kindly intervened to stop her doing something she would have been too drunk to understand. Unfortunately for Skinny Emo Cowboy, he's married. To a very scary girl. Who was present at that party two years ago, as well as this party. She has not forgotten that her hubby spent the night chatting with that damned blonde girl, and now here he is doing it again. 

Wife began circling the house continuously as she attempted to keep an eye on her husband. Meanwhile, Skinny Emo Cowboy failed to notice this at all. The conversation among the four of us was pleasant, polite, and surprisingly nonflirty. Until Trouble decided to mention Serena. 

Skinny Emo Cowboy was already drunker than we realized. And the mention of Serena tripped his emo trigger. Soon he was randomly materializing to ask us about Serena. How was Serena? Why did she think he would react badly to hearing her name? Was Serena doing good? How was Serena? Did we know he messed up a really good thing? 

He would do most of this accosting, however, to Trouble. I swear, I don't know how many times he cornered her in a hallway or a dim corner and either she had to flag someone down or I had to run back and rescue her. Meanwhile, his wife continued circling. 

While all this was going on, of course, we were getting toasted. Everyone was getting toasted. Including a guest who happens to be an auctioneer, and a girl who decided we should have an auction. She wanted to be auctioned off. 

Somehow this ended with her and her friend being "sold", someone grabbing my wrist, yanking me to center stage, and I found myself being sold. And somehow my head/mouth filter had disappeared along with my sense of propriety and I was demanding to know why they were all "such cheap bastards." 

Lucky for me, the two previous 'packages' joined me in this consensus. 

I know know that in an impromptu auction wherein very inebriated partygoers are the ones buying, I can reach a value of $1500 in less than eight minutes. Sadly, I was never sold because our auctioneer passed out. I guess I'll have to have my full value evaluated next halloween. 

Much later in the evening, after snacks, jell-o shots with m&m chasers, dancing, another round of jell-o shots, some othe shots, and more rums with droplets of coke barely detectable, Trouble and I were feeling kinda... trashed. 

We stepped into the back room, which is made over into a long hall of horrific surgeries and blood-spattered walls, to catch our breath and sit down. Trouble claimed the large faux-barb wire wrapped chair and I took the arm of it. We were having some sort of conversation when Skinny Emo Cowboy found us again. He took a position on the floor on the other side of Trouble's chair. 

Then another guy appeared, this one intent on picking me up and placing me on the nearest operating table. I know not why. But it didn't matter since my drink wound up all over him. He put me down then. Thank god. 

yet another pair of guys appeared. One of them kinda cute. Sort of. Though I was trashed and the lighting was dim, so it could have been the fact that he ended up positioned so as to keep Operating Table Guy away. By this time I was mentally referring to Trouble's chair as her throne, with myself playing Vampire Princess.

Somehow we ended up insisting that she and I were taken by each other and therefore not single, thanks. In Trouble's words we were in a "mahogany relationship."  Our relationship is expensive and pretty. 

Possibly Cute Guy spent a good deal of time talking/flirting with me, which I didn't mind since Trouble had a couple of admirers, and then there was Operating Table Guy and Skinny Emo Cowboy and a few others, so I wasn't bored. Anyone who has dealt with drunk!me knows that bored is not a good thing. But the group of them was still not interesting enough, so I amused myself by poking into the corners of the room and making fun discoveries like the fact a dummy was behind a hidden door and that the shelves full of jars all had fake fingers and noses and toes and eyeballs in them. Which Trouble and I decided to play catch with.

We finally sauntered out of the impromtu throne room, back to the party only to find everyone getting ready to head home. This might have had something to do with half the male guests being in the back with us. Now, Skinny Emo Cowboy had been trying and trying to make passes at Trouble all night, but as we were walking out of the back room, he grabbed my butt. Seriously. Twice. And got elbowed for it. 

Then Possibly Cute Guy asked Trouble for her number. 

Operating Table Guy wanted to take us all to Another Party. 

Skinny Emo Cowboy's wife materialized glaring at him in murderous rage. 

Possibly Cute Guy's Friend sulked because Trouble and I hadn't flirted with him enough .

Random Other Guy kept talking to me about... something. 

Our Ride, Trouble's awesome guy-friend, materialized to drag us home. 

He laughed the entire way home over the looks on the other guys' faces as we both grabbed his arm and headed for his car. 

We got back to my house at about 4. Trouble stayed until 6 to make sure she was sober enough to drive the five blocks home. I went to bed in a happy, contented haze of alcohol and laughter.

Sometimes, my life is just awesome. 

Trouble's friends called the next day to tell us we had probably kicked off at least five divorces that night. And also, we were coming to the next party, right? We have realized we have a secret wondertwin power when we party together.

Possibly Cute Guy called Trouble the next day to ask about me, I suppose to get his nerve up about calling me. Like a good friend she didn't give him my number, but pointed out that we'll all be seeing each other again at her housewarming party in a couple weeks. 

I'm taking absinthe.